Friday, March 31, 2017


Every time I see
Mother with their baby daughter
My mood turn to be

" I want my mom"
N I start to...emo n cry

Sometime I be jealous

"Great you've mom!!!!!!!!"

Then I see handsome prince charming
I be like

" I don't want you!"
"You're not mom!"
"Dont ever dream to have me!"
"I want my mom!"

p/s: complicated 5 year old me
Crazy story

Normal people, at my age
Won't behave like me

I think, girl at my age, dream/wish to have their own children, every time they play with baby... am I right?

Last, last night
I'm dreaming hugging puma in my dream
Great, last time hugging tiger
This time hugging puma

I must love animal like a lot..even in dream I hug it..-___-

I'm done with you!

When I say
I'm done with you!

I really mean it
You're totally finished hahaha

The dark me
Never give another chance
Never allow second chance

You're done
& you're totally dead!!!!!

Ofc I knew you
You can change ur appearance
N lied/pretend to be someone else
for a moment
N hide

N at last you show it ahahahahaha

Love never easy
Bye2  for forever
Shut myself from you

p/s: I'll delete, anyone that make me cry n feel like hell.

Don't like ur psycho game...

I should trust my first instinct
But light always ignore such sign, cause she always believe, love will always win. Ya she is so right..

But I'm not light, n I don't like that idea.

Listen here light...I'm gonna delete that human...not killing her...But...just stay away, n don't make her as our friend. K

Don't spend ur time for bullshit
Don't speak with bullshit
Try not to speak with them as possible as you can....

Remember...they're bullshit, that will hurt us...N then say,
They doesn't mean to hurt us...

Give them some punch in their face...if I could I'll kill them all...
Remember to bring your knife
Cause you're always weak without ur weapon.....

When will that bullshit n that demon bastard will die? Cause I can't control this hatred no more... each day, this hatred grow bigger....

I'll not satisfy... as long as him alive...I wanna see him suffer for the rest of his existence... until he give up... N give back that arrogant mask back to me.... N disappear like forever.

I feel like I wanna eat his flesh...N let my mouth full with demons blood... I wanna cut his body into pieces

I wanna stab..stab...his body...till it become like shatter, crumble.. time

I think, I need to sleep haha
Already, 2.44 am

I think, they're not human
Cause they aren't sleepy like me
N their eyes keep focusing on laptop


N one boy, speak to me
I don't know what he said
Cause I wearing earphone
N when I want to turn off the music
He already went away

I'm so sorry... -____-
Ya..hahaha...snobbish me



My level of consciousness is different from them...

N when I look at them
I be like

Oh my, where am I? What am I seeing?
What kind of realm is this?
This illusion is too real O_O

I feel like screaming...
Ya I'm screaming deep inside of me
Unheard but too loud


Wednesday, March 29, 2017


Love vibration
Or merkaba love vibration

Cause I'm using light path/way
for a long period of time
So, it's already active...

But, I shut/close it for a moment
Cause I want to know bout dark path...
My dark path Iz still
In it low vibration hurmmmmm


Create my illusion with love vibration
Is soooooo easy

When I want something
I just wish upon it..........
N suddenly, like magic, it appear
Pop out

Demon also would kneel down.. hurm


And, light attract so many thing
She is kind of scary thing, n too powerful

In that path
You appreciate all the beauty that universe give... beauty in human, nature...N all

It is like
When u see butterfly
Automatically, ur heart will say
'U're so beautiful, I love you'

U see flower
'Awwwww so beautiful...Love.Love...Love'
N you can't stop adoring it
You're not faking your feeling

U see human
N love again -______-!!!!!!!


The problem is
She attracting all that stuff into her life
Animal, human, flowery environment


I see boy/men
Coincidently, I look at his eyes
I be like

In heart

'his eyes is sooooooo beatiful...'
N love2
She couldn't help her heart cause she love
All the beautiness....

The problem: she was attracting that guy
to be in her life.

She didn't wish it to be like that
It is like normal thing to adore

when I see, hair
Stranger, I don't even know her
But my heart be like:

'her hair is soooooo beautiful, she look like
Princess, I love her'

N I listen to men voice, he speaking
N I be like

'his voice is sooooooo pretty....'
'I think, it should be really amazing if he sing'

And most of them end up..
Sat beside me...
Like a lot of hour
N speak with me

O_O!!!!!! I dont speak with stranger k
Cause it's scary
Why u speak to me?

Do you remember
Bout cat picture...that I post sleeping on
My book....

That cat, I use to adore it...
Ofc my can't stop loving heart yuck
said to it, when she saw that cat.....

"Fluffy2  fur, he is so beautiful"

Attracting human, attracting animal
You made me scared Light!!!!!!!!!!!##
DONT WANT!!!!!!!

N right now, when my heart praising human, I be like...

'Please don't come near me'
I feel afraid if they suddenly pop out
appear front of me...
It freak me out..

That stupid heart...It like to love everything



Lemme develop
Lemme build
My dark character hahaha

Revenge, hatred

She is a part of me to

Ofc she is different from light hurm

You gonna die!!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 28, 2017


Mom n dad
They're like discipline teacher

N their daughter is like

I don't like rule
I don't like any 'discipline'

But a lot of year live with discipline teacher
Make you learn bout discipline a lil bit


No rule for princess k
Don't be too strict with her
Cause she will run n hide from you
The worst...she will don't like you
Like forever....

p/s:yeay i'll get my new lappy

Monday, March 27, 2017

today activity

I'm with mom n dad right now
Ofc...they visiting their beloved stubborn...stone head princess


N mom telling me bout
Or ghost story
About our ancestor history to tell you
It is about..
In Malay language..
We call it as SAKA

I think, last month
She gather at her lil sis House
My aunt

She's been ill for a long time

react, when mom n her sibling gather

It make, the lamp explode
It make sound like storm n scratching the roof gluupp

Scary right...


I don't like ghost

Imma gonna eat their head
If they disturbing me n my book k

So don't dare

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Jane Zhang

this song sound like..

3 inches of heaven Yan yi Dan


Friday, March 24, 2017

What kind of yuck?

They're so yuck -____-

Ok lemme touch your heart
Touch it
Take your heart
N you don't have heart anymore


But i love the song...
The third video
I love their voice the most...

Thursday, March 23, 2017

When they're gone

I feel like heaven

Now the air feel clear
Calm....n i like it

So, i can read my book with happy face...

I know, i'm bad
But well, i do trust
Hate at first sight

I should believe my instinct

When they're gone
I feel like this song...


I give you a chance night
But i don't like your Dove love story k

Wednesday, March 22, 2017


Semak nya aku rasa

Mcm dkt zoo tempat monyet bersuka ria...

Serius semak...

When you're aura reader
Stay in crowded place make you Wanna kill all that human.........

I hate their aura
Disgusting aura

Their aura...make me feel so angry

p/s: please disappear dear shitttt

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

sometime 2-crazy me-why i'm angry...

i'm soooooooooo angry at the other me
YOu're so stupid
dumbasss person that i've ever met on this Earth

imma gonna kill you arggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
you're such a mess

what you're thinking you're doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your time already end

please respect my era!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i don't like your love story..your bullshit...romance
who the hell is him..i don't care!!!!
i hate it....

you're just the same with cat
always jealous with my book....

in this era... i love book
i've a lot of thing to do
a lot of book to be read
you just ruin everything... i hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

i hope...i go into your time/era...imma gonna kick your ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and imma gonna kick his ass too
ok...and kill both of you

i don't love're the one who love him like hell
wat the hell is that guy...yuckk....
you knew it night....i feel so you and him
it is disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

i just...why you're a part of me...i hope...arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i hope you will not ruin my dream
my plan..
my focus
my dream

my study

no men is allow into my plan ok...
no no no no no.............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
it will take a lot of my free alone time....don't wanttttttttt
gonna reject any men

you know
that i scare with commitment...why you do all that... ?????????
i'm sick dear....i sick...i'm not fully recover..............................

i like history...i want to know everything
my heart feel like full with flower
everytime...i hear people talk about history

i call her night
night different from day me...

night is adult...
n me...i'm just 5 yo innocent lil princess
n night always make me cry..she is crazy

totally different from me
like 2 people in one body
i hate her so much

she is so yuck 
i just wanna kill her
n kick her

p/s: how i want to handle her????????????????????????????????
sometime she laugh
i scare to hear she laughing

voice that i hear
it is not my is her voice 
i'm not saying anything

like i told you before:
i'm at my study desk/table...suddenly..i hear she laugh like crazy....
it freak me out T T

and that men voice freak me out

just leave me alone both of you...i'm so tired with your love story.........

see..i'm crazy 

a lot of journal..knowledge that i found from e library...
it make me realize...i waste a lot of time...i don't have a lot of read all that book
 imma gonna start right now

i'm so sorry night
i want to know your story, your history 
but i need to focus..on the now era...

i love fairytale
but you've to support my character in this era
your already end..ok

and're me...
i don't like him...he is stranger to me
i don't know him
i just know you a little
 n doono anything bout him k


Monday, March 20, 2017


as a human
as a girl
i’m scared
then…i remind my self…
 i’ve GOD

MY FEAR…my insecurities…

sometime…i feel everything is falling apart
i don’t know where i belong…n what am i doing here…

where am i?
i’m so lost


if i be that girl
i'll say...


p/s: i ask dad...for ang pau
i want new laptop bwahahahhahahahhaha
spoil princess

i hope he will grant my wishes bwahahahaha

i already use the old one for...eight years already, i think huhuhuhu 

being student...
make you poor... -____-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

everytime..i want to work 
i want my own money
mom..said no.................
and she repeat ""

i hate it...
when they -"stupid human"- say...
hurm all you need is asking your parent..cause they work..and they've money
i hate it...i hate it soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much
go die with your money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

do you think
i feel comfortable...and not shy...?????????????????????????????????????
da hell

all i remember...bout my own money...
when i got it...i gave it all to people 
i gave it to mom..and said
"please give it to poor..."

cause...i already and dad...already gave me a lot

and i learn from mom...
she spend a lot for poor...she is kind of generous woman
ya..i learn this attitude from mom....

my pocket money
bout 1 thousand...i gave it to people
ya...i want to buy something else using that money
i think it was computer stuff...or something like that...
but they need it the most
so i gave it to them

-old story-

yup..not telling my name...just gave it... 

maybe that is why
when people/stranger see me...they be like: giving me free food/meal
suddenly giving me a gift
like a lot...

don't do that!!!!!don't spoil me....i'm shy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
when i see you...i feel like..i wanna hide
donno where to put my face
i feel shyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
"this is how i feel"
i like it when you give me a gift...

i'm 5 years old..ofc i like present...i'm so excited
but i can't do anything bout how i feel

i want to give donation...but i have no money anymore...
i be like... "I FEEL SO SAD!!!!!!!!! & HELPLESS...FEEL SO WEAK" texting mom some message

me: mom...i wanna give to that people...RM 100
but i don't have enough..i only have about RM 15 in my hand
can you transfer yours to their account...

-in heart- hoping mom will help them-i feel so helpless-

mom: okay :P

n someday...when i work...i'll still be the same...
i don't want to be greedy
Allah..please teach me to be generous
n not greedy...
 i'm bad


and stupid boy n girl
that hurt my feeling....i hate you
  ofc silly boy n girl 

to that boy
...i'm girl....n i'm not boy...
if my parent take a good care of shouldn't be jealous
i hope you won't ask money  from ur parent !!!!!!!!!!
cause you're boy!!!!!

n to that girl
i'm being easy on you
cause you're girl
but i don't like you...stay away from me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel bad...
cause i is hard to be a girl...
in this stupid world of coward/weak men world...

i thought Islam teach you...
all men should take a good care to their women
what? Be their leader? men is leader to women?
protect women/girl? ahahahahaha

hurmmmmm shiiiitt



Sunday, March 19, 2017

Let's play: intuition

I only got 6 out of 9
3 false answer huhuhu

hurm huhuhu
I should actually get

Cause...i really don't know the card rather it heart, joker or watsoeva

 I don't have much connection with it. So i can't figure it out....

p/s: i'm sooooo sleepy
But still Wanna stay up muahahaha

I love me
Please say you love me too
Like a lot -_____ -

Sewel dah datang hahaha

Friday, March 17, 2017

Is this love? Dr love time

Jealous iz an ugly feeling
I feel like, i can't breath
So i don't like it

Will avoid anything/anyone that bring jealous drama in my life...

I be like
If you want him n her
Take them for free n leave me alone

Im too old for this
N too young to trouble3

I always thinking
If i have beloved
I'll put him
Or hide him
Deep within my heart

Cause he is too precious
Don't Wanna share him
with anyone Or anything else
Bring him everywhere,anywhere
I go, ev3n into the toilet kah kah kah

Don't want him to be in human form
Cause that is too big for me...
Yup..too big, to hide him in my heart

I'll be crazy or dying if i being separate from him...

But...when he's  too stubborn

N showing up in human form

I'll sulk, n be blind
N don't ask why i don't see you !!!!
Cause i hate you
N i hate human so much

N ...will go on forever without my heart

Bye2 the end
N let him cry alone

Cause i hate it when human see you
Touch you, speak to you....
You're mine n only mine


P/S: so don't teach me bout love, cause...i'm better without it
I mean
Love between men n women
Cause it freak me out

Teach me universal love muahahaha
I love everything
I love you, like i love tree
I love you, like i love wind

Gonna hide wind n squi in my heart

N put a lot of flower into my heart

My heart is so big for that kind of love...

N no space for him...wekkkkkkk


That song
I like 0.00-1.02 this part the most
N then the mirror break yeayyyy
Her voice was so sad when she said
Those word...

I feel it
N it hurt
N 5 yo me
Won't allow such crime

Gonna cry with you

Don't like girl friend n boy friend
Cause they're soooooooo stupid


Me n mind


My character
Deep within me
I'm kind of yes n then no
N no n then yes

Then i feel so confuse with human
I don't Wanna feel confuse
So i leave the source of confusion
It mean... I leave you muahahaha

If you make feel jealous
Jelous cause u have boy n girl friend..
I'll leave you

So i'll feel safe n harmony

Cause i don't like to feel jealous
Why should i feel jealous
It hurt feel jealous

No you, no jelous
Delete you

The end of misery

No drama
I love me

N live forever..hapily Eva after
With your boy/girl friend k

Don't disturb me.....
I'm already dead k ahaha

:confusion disappear
:mission accomplish

The key to stay in my life
"Don't make me confuse"

N i've a lot of question bout this life
N if youve the answer to all of it
I'll stay with u like 4 Eva...

Haha...when i get bored
I'll disappear n make you gone crazy


Phenomenal at breathing bwahaha
Adoiyai kah kah kah

Keep it up

But me, i scared like hell/nervous whenever friend/human texting or calling me...

I be like...oh noooooooooooo
O_o why you speak
There are like hundred human
In diz place why u?me???????
i'm mute anywaywahaha

Yet...i've to be normal, calm down
N reply their message.:

Me: i miss u too hahahaha

Me n cat
Cat be like

Cat: open your doorrrrrrrrr!!!!! I wanna come in....hey wat u doing in there alone...i just can't let you be alone...imma gonna disturb yo

Thats okay if you don't have food
Just petting me or letme petting u

N put it hand under my door n meow meow meow

Me: noooooooooooooooo

p/s: seriously cat, always choose the meanest person like should choose, cat lover k. Not me...i'm not lover...but something else...huhu

N Already 2 days
Black kitty show me
Reptile with 4 leg n long tail

So i've to hold it (reptile)tail
N safe it from naughty cat -___-
He put it near my shoes while i'm reading outside library

First day
He made all girl screaming
Second day he gave it to me

N that thing hide at my shoes

That thing: please take me away from that cat

N boy n girl...i'm not weird ok...that thing is i can touch it, to safe it from kitty

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

I'm soooooooo sleepyyyyyyy head --___--

My favourite song
It do help me a lot
To overcome my sleepy head

Sleepy2 please go away
I need to finish the task
Or I'm better dead -___-

p/s: give me a lot of hug
Cause 5 yo me
Start to "I want my mom"
" where is my mom"
I will never forgive people that se po arate child from their mom

Imma gonna kill each of them

Omy ...I lost my sanity ahaha

Monday, March 13, 2017

Me n My Blabbering at you

single lady already found her book
so she don’t have time to party!!!!
she only dance with her book --___--
library is her party

i like diz song
let's dance
...i think full moon is affecting me

maybe you should join her -____-
no…no…no YOU aren’t allow into that party
cause you’ll just messing up her mind….
you come here to read…or to play around!!!!


THEY’RE SO LOVEY DOVEY  front of me…yuck!!!!!! not yummy ok
i’m so confuse…don’t teach something like that to 5 yo..its rude!!!
hello dear..this is library…why!!!!!!!
i don’t care..night or day…but this is library…not your lover doveR time…

she sleep on his lap -____-!!! and sit front of me

but cat already know how to respect my study time…it will just sleep near me, not on my book or lap anymore…It just don’t want me to study alone…

i don’t like such couple..i don’t care bf/gf, married or not…
it not used to it
ya…i  don’t like their aura

thanks…God..they aren’t stay up till 4 am like me…
cause i can’t stop wishing for them to go home n disappear!!!
their aura, not helping me with my study!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i don’t hate them…i just don’t like their behavior……………………

“cepatla balik, serabut ahh kepala otak aku tengok korang” ahahahahaha

please couple….i don’t know what is wrong with me..why i’m attracting such character to appear…but please dear…don’t teach me bout couple thing!!!!!

i don’t know what crazy me wrote in her story line…stupid predestination…
Maybe i’m just too crazy at that time…………………………………………………….
now you still can play with me…But wait till
i mastering  my free will…hehehehehehe

i know..i  shouldn’t look at them
my eyes iz sooooo stupid………….
next time…

dear Mimi, next time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just look at your book…don’t look front of you
so you won’t aware..they stare or look at you
it is just you and book exist…ok

spell/repeat this mantra IN YOUR HEAD….1000000000000000000000000000000000x

another couple story…
sometime they smile at me…glupp..
it begin with her girlfriend smiling at me
when that girl went somewhere and leave that boy…i be like –in heart-
“oi girl….where you go….??????don’t leave that Dracula here… take him too”
and next day her boyfriend smile at me
i be like…oh no….
i know…i’m not friendly and soooooooooo mean  hurmmmmm

n my friend –she already married-and continue her study…
doing her master

she said: someday when you get married, don’t stay up too late…me and my husband also like to stay up at night…but i can’t continue such routine…i’m tired n sleepy….

the moral value  from this experience:

i think…they want to teach me…if you’ve boyfriend/husband….they can stay up with you, and help/support  you with your study …ok thanks…

Your moral value/teaching is rejected….im totally stubborn….the most stubborn human being that you’ll ever met

i’ll create my destiny…..
erase the old one ahahahahahaha

my roommate be like…
when she saw my hair is short
-______- she is so sweet… ahahahaha

p/s: im in my room now…off from library….

u don't want this good girl to turn out to be like this
so don't mess 
u don't want me to go out with thousand million date
like you said to me....
cause it is your nightmare!!!!!!

boyfriend n girlfriend
to 5 yo sweet me

wat da hell 

n flirt only with you -____-!!!
only one
why can i have like 4..maybe 7, 10 or hundred boy
it is boring...if it just one boy ahahahaha

i'm crazy

just kidding