Thursday, November 17, 2016

Art of breakup hehe

art of break up/divorce/ betrayal/ healing
i don’t have experience: break up with husband/bf
but i think, the feeling is just the same with mine

the feeling of : -----being apart from someone/ our dear one-----

From my experience..being desert
i only took 10 year to heal/recover

first year…

your world will be upside down ahahahaha and each day you’ll cry

-p/S: GOOD FOR ME…cause she don’t know how to cry…now she learn how to cry,..good
her heart is soooooooo hard like steel…Stubborn, and a lot more bad quality. So it’s good experience 
for me….

you can’t focus and your world turn to be miserable…………………………………….
you lost your confident/self esteem . You just feel like you want to die
you lost you just to fit in their expectation, cause you scare they might hate u
everybody want to be love, right?…hurm

p/s: well, i’m just 14… it is just the first phase for me to know about God. And be alone with God. From the day i was born  till life was so full with human. Everyday, i’ll spend my free time with friend.. Can’t live without them….

i didn’t told anyone , just to gain/get/ pity for me, it’s not my style
and i don’t know to handle it, no one ever taught me how to handle such thing
that is my first time being reject by lot of people …like, a lot…ahahaha padan muka
at time, i still donno how to reject people,  she like to give endless chance to people

that girl, she kept it all to herself. She is not like normal girl. Normal? They will tell to parent, they’ll feel ok…ahahahaha yup manja huhu. I’m not. But now…i tell a lot to you, to mom, to friend…i be like an open book ahahahahahaha ofc manja..wekkk biaq pi la

If i can turn back time n be there one more time, i won’t change anything…Are you crazy? If i change it i’ll lose chance to feel the heart break, being desert, it is a life time experience.  Ofc it is painful but It will be boring, if people always love you.., adore you,….ya…..  Give them chance to hate me ahahahhaha, and give me chance to say bye2 to them hehehehe. It’s lovely experience…

hurm…after you pass that critical moment, any heart break/ break up/ being apart from dear one will be easy for you. You won’t lose you anymore. You’ll be more stable. You'll appreciate alone time so much. It is like freedom, peaceful. And you won’t scare to lose any human anymore.

Honestly, ofc when you have to separate, or being apart. It will hurt you. And it’ll be worst if you’re people of love, cause you love too much. Lot of love. NAH…you have God.. Now learn how to be alone with God.

After i pass my critical moment. If i have to reject people, or people reject me. I only take about 1 week to feel ok. And their face and name won’t stay in my mind…and life goes on like always…

One more story, That day…i sat alone in mosque…i just feel alone. Human is so frustrating, what they know? they know how to break your heart ahahahaha. Ofc i sat there alone, and talking to God, and crying. And suddenly someone come and hug me -___-!!! i’m shocked. From where this human coming….

i don’t understand why friend hug me -____-!!!! sometime they ask for forgiveness even they do nothing wrong to me.

My story is like…Someone else punch you and they don’t regret doing such thing to you and suddenly someone from neverland that you don’t even know exist come and asking for forgiveness about that punch, like that is all their mistake -____________- doesn’t make any sense..

AND IT IS MORE SCARY…when monster want to be near you…HEY we play bye2 game, and you agree to be monster. And that is not my mistake if i hate you. And ofc we can’t be together… You can’t just break the rule…At last monster have to die la~la~la. YA …princess is mean and she is bad…hehe…donoo who is monster now.

At first, i don’t understand why it happen…and at last…hahahahaha I KNOW YOUR SECRET BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….and hurm…..

p/s: see...want it..or don't want. Someday we'll be apart...
by death, by betrayal...and a lot more reason huhuhuhu
so..please teach me, how to not run away from you ahahahaha

the end
from my crazy mind 

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