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Tuesday, August 30, 2016

busy





ya..lately busy..helping mom cleaning this house >___<
and i bought roses..red and orange...gonna show you later

hope it will grow...healthy and happy...i call my roses "love" muahahaha

ofc..we should speak with flower/plant, they listen...they feel us ^^

sayang...and i smile at my flower..sewel sesorang




cya cya cya



p/s: see...you should speak with me..when i have nothing to do
cause...when i start to involve with human world...
it will getting really busy..........................................................


i love me..

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Exchange knowledge

:) I stay at aunt house.
Today is second day I'm here

I have a very long conversation with cousin. We speak n speak until 2 am, and then until Subuh prayer time about 5.50 am ahahaha.

Night owl meet with night owl.

Like I told, my family also have a lot of strange thing n memory that needed to be share. We speak about everything.

She said after meeting with a lot of people, now, she change from logical thinking to mystical thinking, cause a lot of thing in this world have no answer.

We speak about lucid dream, automatic writing and everything.

Ya, she can control all the thing in it. Create everything that she want in that dream, n wake up, at the time she wish to wake up. And fully aware that she was in dream world.

Cya..just sharing the moment, I think I need to gather with all my cousin n family member and share all the weird thing together ahaha

Monday, August 22, 2016

my crazy moment



we need to be the real version of us
speak what is in our heart

if they don’t like us, the door is open for them to get out from our life
and no need to ever show their face anymore
like i said before, don’t give them second, third chance
 i hope someone like that bullshit to disappear puffffff like magic

don’t be fake
be the real you
so you won’t attract false environment, false reality, and get tired cause you’ve to acting to fit in with their EXPECTATION!!!!! you should be like this, you should be like that. You already change, i feel sad… Do you think i’m your puppet!!!! I’m not changing, it is you just don’t know who i am.

show me the real version of you
if i don't like you, i leave you, settle..then you'll meet your group type of people
if you don't like me, you leave, settle... then i'll be free from moron hurm

i really confuse about human…why i need to stay with human?
they give us a lot of heartaches… so i need to avoid them as much as i can.

what i can say at this moment…
everytime my heart feel hesitate about something or someone. Does it mean i should avoid them, or it mean opposite? ya, until now, i’m so confuse about this. Cause, i really wanna protect myself, i don’t want she to get hurt anymore.
maybe, the answer is, i should avoid them. Ya i’ll try this answer. I’ll try to do this kind of solution.

and..the next thing that i’m confuse about.

should i come to them, or they come to me ?
and i want to try, “they come to me”  i’m satisfied with myself, my own self,  i don’t need a lot of drama. Why i should interrupt their life. i already in peace with myself, everything is complete.

and..the next thing that i’m confuse about.
if i already try once, and it not working. Should i try one more time? It is okay, if  it is machine unworking , then i could fix and try one more time, but this is human.  Should i stab his/her heart. So it will functioning well.

So, i guess, the answer is, i should only try one time. If it not working, you should avoid that person, and settle all the problem with him/her, and you should stay away from that human. Don’t get attach with them anymore.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
And please, if i come into your life, that is a very big step for me to step into stranger’s life. So better appreaciate and remember bout me, “someone special” exist in your life for a while, and then she gone cause you piss her off, or i just crazy person, that enjoy alone time so much and leave all human. Don’t piss me off with your drama. I can’t be open like i use to be anymore. It feel like locked heart. Ya..it is truly locked. I don’t know how to open it. A lot of weaknesses. I promise, not to share my problem with anyone anymore, i’ll keep it to myself and settle it by myself. Cause my heart is toooooooooo sensitive. Why you’re so sensitive….

T T it is hard being me. ok bye..i want to hide in my cave

Sunday, August 21, 2016

alone time end



nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
my alone time, please don’t leave me, i’m already addicted with you -____-!!!
i ask for lemme be alone for 1 or 2 month more, and they didn’t approve…noooooooooo
they only allow you for half month to be alone…
and it’s already end

princess is soooooooooooooooo sad and tooooooooo sad
(i just thinking..deep in myself…should i run away hurm…)
and then reality come knocking my head…it said, please be rational and keep ur emotional
you want me to be rational…???nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

ok…i’ll try to be 75% rational…25% emotional…so if they piss me off, i’ll go into my room and cry and cursing for 1 hour and speak with my beloved. And then i’ll face them back with my rational mind -____-!!! and solve anything that need to be solve.

you don’t know…i’ve been facing a lot of strict kind of person. And they don’t have soft heart. They’re crazy muahahaha. It’s so tired with strict people. They want comitment. Even if you’re sick with them (sick to see their face..rasa nak muntah)!!!!!! They want you to be front of them. -_____-!!!!  I feel like i want to put my feet on their face. Put them under my  feet ahahahahaha.

Mom be like glup when she saw i skecth something like knive on paper, and make something like comic dialogue cause i was so piss off with that person. HAHAHAHA

no, unsoft heart people won’t piss off with my harsh word and sulk for too long. They don’t know how to sulk. Maybe we punch and kick each other face, after that no more conflict.

 -____-!!! tired with that kind of life. of course i need to treat people based on how they treat me. I feel the pain, and you too have to feel the same pain. So they will become human and learn empathy. And don’t bully people..stupid.

so, i be like..it’s kind of heaven when i have a lot of soft heart friend. So i don’t have to get angry or piss off, with high voice, hot temperature…

i don’t like dark..dark is so stupid..dumbasss creature..why they even exist!!!!!!! hehehehe
it feel yuck…kind of pain when they love/like you….the struggle is real tho…………………….
please go die…

i need to control my anger, try to avoid conflict as much as i can. And i just need to keep silent or walk away when they start their drama.

p/s: the end
if you hate..hate to the fullest
if you love..love to the fullest
(i have both of it…hate and love…and i need to control myself and be rational)

Saturday, August 20, 2016

ilusi dan masa



aku harap semuanya berjalan lancar
teruskan, jangan berhenti!
jika kau takut untuk menghadapi esok
aku mohon pejamkan mata kau buat sebentar
katakan pada dia apa yang ada di hadapan itu semuanya ilusi

ya, ilusi…ilusi…ilusi


buka kembali mata kau
masa, kau harus bersabar dengan masa!
satu peristiwa ke peristiwa yang lain berpaksikan masa
semua ini adalah perlu untuk kau mengenali diri kau sendiri!

jangan tergesa-gesa
hadapi semuanya dengan tenang, sabar…
kau sangka kau sedang menuju destinasi terakhir
tahukah kau sebenarnya apa yang ada di penghujung itu?
kita hanya bersangka-sangka
apakah kau benar-benar yakin?

bagaimana jika di penghujung itu adalah permulaan untuk permainan kehidupan ini bermula semula, ia tidak berhenti berputar, berulang-ulang?

Jadi jangan menyeksa diri sendiri, jangan tergesa-gesa hadapi semuanya dengan tabah, sabar, tenang. Aku umpamakan kehidupan ini seperti bawang. Lalu kita kupas kulit luarnya, kita lihat lapisan yang seterusnya, lalu kita kupas lagi, dengan bersangka ada isi atau ada sesuatu yang akan kita temui. Rupa-rupanya, lapisan demi lapisan itulah isi dan dirinya. Jika kita kupas hingga lapisan yang terakhir, apa yang tinggal? tiada apa-apa. KOSONG.

wahai jiwa-jiwa yang ingin bebas, nikmatilah alam ciptaan Tuhan ini. Hargailah langit yang cantik luas, biru, saujana mata memandang. Jadilah hamba yang bersyukur. Syukur itu katanya boleh disama ertikan sebagai menghargai. Ya hargai segala yang Tuhan beri, walau sekecil mana sekalipun pemberian itu, hargai.

Tuhan ada bersamamu, jika kau lelah dengan manusia dan segala makhluk ciptaan Nya, kembalilah pada Dia. Kembali pada yang satu itu. Semuanya bermula dari Dia. Tidak ada pengantara di antara kau dan Dia. Tiada. Adukan semuanya pada Dia. 

Ya, seperti aku, aku malu untuk berkata-kata pada manusia. Aku malu untuk bertemu dengan segala yang dikatakan sebagai makhluk ciptaan Nya. Apa lagi meminta bantuan mereka. Lalu aku hanya berbicara dengan Dia. Dia ada pada permulaan ku, Dia ada pada pengakhiran ku. Segala kisahku, duka, tawa, Dia ada menemani aku di setiap detik waktu.

Tuhan, aku cuba menghargai makhluk2Mu semampuku. Maafkan aku, segala kekuranganku, segala keterbatasan diri aku. Aku tahu…aku mengerti…maafkan aku kesayanganku.

p/s: apabila dia berbicara
aku, yang sewel ini pun terdiam ahahaha
serius, betul watak yang ini ya….aish..senyum, ilusi dan masa

Friday, August 19, 2016

Time to fairytale again: Telepathy dream



Hide behind your smile, all the world loves a clown
(Just make 'em smile the whole world loves a clown)
You deserve an award for the role that you played

time to think:
hurm...maybe that voice... (that men mystery voice)
i think it is like ritual, ancient ritual and they use ancient language.
what they’re trying to do. hurm. ya i only hear one voice, but it feel like he was not alone there.
p/s: this one, i’m not asleep, it just so sudden, i hear it. Maybe at 5 am like that.

About dream.
do you know, sometime when we’re in dream, we know that we’re in dream
and such thing happen to me many time. I know that i’m  asleep on bed, and
i know  i’m in dream realm.  In my own mind.

me: wow, so this my dream realm. Let’s take a look around this building and place.

and i start to explore the place in it. It not last longer. Ya everytime such thing happen to me, i afraid that i don’t have enough time to explore the place, cause i’ll awake from that dream. Sometime i walk quickly, before my body start to wake up in real world/world realm ahahahaha. ya, i’m aware, everytime i can control, i mean i knew, i was in dream, i never once talk to anyone in that dream…or there is no human in that dream..hurm

that day, it happen again, when i was in dream realm and i was like, and i was fully aware, that is my dream world….this place. Let me try call mom from here. It is like using telepathy. Ya it is just so sudden, i want to do that. 

me: mama, mama, mama

and something disturb me, so i stop…


the day after that, or the next, next day, while i was talking to mom (ofc handphone), and so sudden she said to me. (i didn’t tell her anything bout my dream )

mom: mi, that day, i heard something like your voice calling me

me: O_O!!!! you hear it????? ya that strange thing happen to me, and i just try to call you. i’m in dream and bla..bla..bla

i just thinking, the signal, i mean my voice reach her, but it took time. Not like handphone signal, one click, then it reach the target. And this is something new to me. And it just coincidently happen, not like i learn from anyone. Or maybe i watch a lot of cartoon ahahahaha so i learn it from cartoon, they talk to each other (distance place)  without using any machine muahahahaha. i must be crazy and lost my mind -_____-!!!!! friend/mom won’t laugh at me, but i laugh at myself. i can’t believe her ahahaha. Why she is so weird creature. Why this character of me, is like this.


 link




scary..right...
i want to run away
i scared with myself

i believe..out there...there're a lot of species same as me ahahaha kidding
yeay..i'm not alone...but don't disturb my peaceful time..lemme be alone


p/s: gud nite..it is just fairytale...
smile..and enjoy this life... -____-!!! i hope tomorrow...will not kill me waakakaka