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Saturday, July 2, 2016

recorder



something about me?
hurmm

i don’t know how to play guitar, how i wish i could play it ahahaha
ok, rewind my childhood, she knew how to play recorder ahahaha
(i miss lil me: T T)

i love music class, teacher have a nice voice and she taught us how to play recorder too
and at last i lead the recorder performance on stage ahahaha such a sweet memory
ya,  i stayed with aunt at grandmother’s house, television in that house got broken
and no one repair it (many years i guess), i only listen to radio,
and a lot of time i spend with friend, outdoor activity ahahaha

 ya i use white recorder link



and i practice to use recorder, until i remember every note without need to refer the note
in class i can play  fluently when teacher wanted to test us
idk, it’s been a long time, i didn’t touch recorder
i already lost the skill ahahahahahaha

my primary school , have Siamese, Malay… we’re close, different race, different belief
n we’re friend. They  wrote  letter to me, they told, they miss me, but i faced a worst
situation in high school -____-!!! and  everything change… And couldn’t reply it. 
(i already told you)





 ..............................................................................................................................................................

Trauma..just wanted to rewind and drama ahahahaha...



 
religion high school, full with pride, ego. For 4 years not a days, without tears, like living in hell. One small mistake, then they hate you, desert you, like you make a big mistake. I don’t know how to faced it. i was only 14 years old. So confuse.

Ya it is big for me. Cause, she (that small girl), she wanted to be love by everyone. Be desert by friend with same age, it felt worst. And i was accepted by senior and junior ahahahaha. (senior=mature +cartoon lover) (junior=anime/cartoon lover ahahaha)

No, even though they already asked for forgiveness. And i already forgave them. It still taught me a lot about human. First, they told you, they like you, then they desert you. ahahaha so funny.  

And it taught me, it’s okay if people hate you. You just have to love yourself. And when you make a mistake, accept the fact that you make a mistake. Forgive yourself and move on. And be confident, don’t lose yourself just to fit in people expectation. 

(and don’t let them that hurt you to be your friend, desert them ahahaha, ok not desert but, don’t be close with them, ok)

I still cannot face with friend from that high school. When i met them, i just couldn’t ….. I just don’t want to meet any of them. Please disappear all of you ahaha.

that one boy, he send me flower -____-!!! i just don’t get it. human is weird. What is in their mind, so i ignore. i don’t want to be their friend. I’m too sensitive. I took a lot of year to heal. I speak normally to them, and when i’m alone, i cried.  Ya, i see them as monster. (trauma me)

it’s so scaryyyyyyyyyyy
human also, taught me about “jelous” “envy”
good…so i can understand the society ahahaha
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………








sometime, i wish, i just choose another school, i got 2 choice after primary end
religion high school, and high school that combine all race in it and just for academic

but i don’t wanna to lose this precious bad memory huhuhu i love my bad memory. I’m greedy. It taught me about “lower ur ego”. It taught me about I only have GOD. I only have myself. I’m not close with mom yet at that time. Mom turn to be my best friend, after high school end.



Mimi, don’t leave your friend anymore, okay!!!!!! try your best not to run away.

dear God
in this life, i just wish i could make friend smile
i just want to experience about friendship
Could you give me back that little girl
i want her..

she like to smile
she just enjoy this life
and all about friendship, love,…
and no marriage (it's for adult) i'm no adult…cause i don’t understand about it
i was born alone, and then i turn to be a girl and have mom and dad
single and not available…i just want to be with me and God

and it is already weird…

ok, what you want to do to make people happy? hurmmmm let me think…
i love me…

Chanda 



i love this song..
feel so happy everytime i listen to it
hurmmm

what it sing..
ok gonna find the meaning hehe

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