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Tuesday, May 10, 2016

sleep



i think my old habit..come back…
It want to push people away…
Oh..not my old habit but my truly habit…but lately i slow it down hahaha
what should i do dear…should i let them stay…or should i let them go?
i’m so confuse…ofc i won’t mind losing people…it’s so scary…right?
Why?

hurmmm because you said…if they’re meant to be together…they will be together no matter what.
so i should test it…i should test their fakeness…or maybe their originality hehe..hurmmmmmmmm
ha..what if they’re gone…passed away during your test progress?

are you kidding me dear? Ya…bye2 go die.. i won’t mind losing you. hurmmm
death is something wonderful…hehe

hurmmm…
ok..let give them some more time…until  the end of sacred month
after that…i’ll decide..to stay..or to bye2…don’t appear front of me anymore…
even if you appear front of me…i’ll pretend as you’re invisible….
why am i so wicked?
i think you have the answer…why am i like this? Can you answer it for me?
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Second note…to my dear beloved..

I hate betrayal. Even if you’ve instinct or gut feeling, it’s just not enough to solve the mystery. Your instinct says, she said the truth, she is telling the truth, i feel close to her but i don’t know what it is, i want her in my life. I want her to stay. I want her to tell me more. 

Ya..it’s just not enough. Feeling and instinct is not enough. You have to gain back all the memory. So you won’t hurt me with you fake truth. And you won’t hurt me with your illusion and says that i’m wrong with your filthy mouth. i’m so tired to debate…i’m just too tired and exhausted…frustrated.

feel it with your heart…see it with your eyes…touch it with your hand… experience it all. 

don’t believe what people says, don’t believe what i says… but believe what you already gain. Using your heart, eyes, and another sense.

ya…sometime i choose not to share, not to tell, cause i see how weak you’re at this moment. Even you’ve pure heart, the truth will hurt you, cause i already felt it before. I just don’t want you to get hurt. You already have a beautiful life, i don’t want to ruin it. Your believe, you matrix world. So, enjoy it until the end of time…tick tock..tick tock hehe

ya, my true companion, my true friend, my true beloved that won’t betray me. They’re the strongest. Also have their memory. Full memory. If not, you’re not. You’re not one of us. Even if you’re one of us, you’re not complete yet. It make me feel like, i want you to stay away from me.
we’ll be together once you gain back all the memory

p/s: yeay..fairytale…
it’s just only fairytale…
don’t be serious..smile..smile..smile hehehe
i'm just kidding


ya sayang, tidur saja sayang
lupakan yang semalam
tidurlah, mimpi yang indah-indah sahaja

itukan lebih baik untukmu
ya, nampaknya aku yang tersangat tamak 

aku inginkan kau yang ingat
aku inginkan kau yang mengenali aku

hatiku terasa sakit/menyampah melihat kau begitu
kenapa kau asyik terlena...
aku mahu kau berjaga/terjaga dan berkata-kata dengan ku 

tamaknya diriku
aku hanya mahu kau untuk diriku...

mungkin kau terlalu letih
hehe..jahatnya aku mengganggu tidur lena mu

tidak apalah sayangku
biar aku bersendiri...

sudah terbiasa aku bersendiri
menatap langit malam
jangan ajak aku melayan tidurmu...
kau bukan sedar pun apa yang kau gumamkan sewaktu tidur

apa ya yang kau mimpikan sampai berkata2 di dalam tidurmu

aku ingat kau berkata2 dengan ku...
rupa-rupanya kau mimpi...

cemburunya aku..dengan siapa kau berkata2 tu? hurmmmmmm

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