Tuesday, February 24, 2015


my heart
and still with the same song

i love me ^^

p/s: back to reserve forest

Monday, February 23, 2015


my heart is like this picture
and my heart sound like this song

me: mom..i don't want to go there
mom: return to your uni
me: don't want :(

mom: return
me: mom..promise won't die early...
mom: inshaallah..promise
me: if you die...i'll be so sad..i don;t have friend anymore
mom: hehe ya i'll have a long life

me: lil so stupid..why he die early?
      mom our family is just like that..they just don't want to stay here
mom: hehe..hmmm

p/s: suddenly i become so emotional...
i miss Allah too :P
not angry with Him
but...i want to return too


p/s: human is


dear God....
i only want my memory back
this is why i never ask for anything

i just want my memory back
alone is better
than to live in lie

p/s: dear..illusion is sweet but
not for me ^^

Sunday, February 22, 2015

ma suka baca hikayat -___-

mom: i like to read hikayat

me: -_____-!!!

mom: in school we learn about Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa
and i read
Hikayat Panji Semerang: Raden Galoh Candra Kirana ....she acting as Panji Semerang
Hikayat Hang Tuah
Hikayat 1001 Malam

me: are you sure...

mom: ofc..i'm sure..i learn and read all this book

Ratu Daha...her father (candra kirana)
Ratu Kuripan...his father (inu)
Galoh Ajeng...step sister...Candra Kirana
Raden Inu/Inao Kartapati : fiancee

me: mom why you read such boring story -_____- o God
bila mak aku cerita haha
aku menguap banyak kali..

mom: Candra Kirana ran from castle and acting as Panji Semerang (boy)
and no one know she is girl...and many girl fall in love with her
she conquer many land then she meet back with her old fiancee
she ran..cause her father and mom didn't treat her well

me: ok..sleepy -____-
      old Cinderella

p/s: my girl and Japanese name
only their name same..
doesn't mean they're same :P

mama suka baca buku merapu huhu -______-
merapu mean cerita susah nak faham heee

p/s: i think...if Candra have grandchild
they will be like me...
haha...ok cya

Saturday, February 21, 2015


my class only on Wednesday n Thursday
so...aku balik lewat sikitlah hehe

big sis will have baby :)
i'll become aunt
hope..she will be okay this time

she want to eat this and that
and she can't smell pizza
but want to eat pizza
she want to eat ABC and laksa
and don't want to eat rice and chicken
and her temperature up (like fever) i really mean temperature
not angry...

mom said...that is normal
friens said..she was so sensitive at that time...even small matter will be big
                 and she felt sad

O___O pregnant woman is weirdoooo

she didn't bring Muffin -___-
she put that orange cat in cat nursery
i think Muffin also have pregnant sickness
cause he vomit heeeeeeeeee

big sis and mom...
both of them are so weird and brave
maybe this is life...
people get married and have family and child

i don't want huuuuuuu
it feel like crazy
p/s: cya
p/s: i in tension mood about my study

Friday, February 20, 2015


i get...

3.58 for last semester (only for that semester)

like he say...
you pass
but not excellent...

lulus...tapi tak cemerlang 

me: i know..i stupid (shy)

p/s: 22...i'll be back there...
i don't want...
i want to stay here

don't wannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnt

bila ada kat sana
susah balik sini
bila ada dekat sini
susah pulak nak balik sana

kau ni ada semangat pacat ke...
melekat je...
ish..ape gila kau
makan darah kot..


Silver light
She turned her face up to the starlit sky
And on this night began to wonder why
She knew that soon the day would come

Born to be
An heir of beauty and serenity
Into this world she entered quietly
To her surprise she was the one

Destiny was close behind her
Phantom of borrowed life
And the sea was a reminder
Mirror of given light

Then one day
The sign she'd waited for in skies of grey
Traversed a winding road and came her way
She found the love she hoped she would

But she knew
That she had promises to stay true to
The dormant daughter of the silver moon
Then all at once she understood

Destiny was close behind her
Phantom of borrowed life
And the sea was a reminder
Mirror of given light

From the sky
She watched the life
She'd known she would leave behind
Said goodbye
And gave her people
Life through her sacrifice

Thursday, February 19, 2015


one of that secret keeper

maybe his age is about...idk..
how many hundred year
but he is so polite
look like true..ancient story hehe

mystery person: if you don't want to use our is okay
                         i know, you want all of that come straight from God/Allah
                         so you have to be close to Him
                         your veil is open because you have a very loving heart
                         you love all people and feel pity for them

friend : yup..i don't want to use your help
           i only want Allah to help me
  don't have to listen to them
           just ignore...and don't think about it

me: yup agree...i don't want it too....scary -______- 

mystery person: in that age...the king rule without using their people property
                         no road tax and all kind of tax
                         cause he can take all the treasure in the earth
                         and all that property is enough for his kingdom

he (mystery person) tell the history and the old man asking me to write the descendant
and i over write about it

and that mystery person  say

: you don't have to write is only history...just write the name
(ofc he speak like..royal servant so polite -______-

p/s: you know..i don;t like king
and that mystery person polite
yup...look like old people

he say:

pray early...
don't sleep a lot! wake up!
pray tahajud
and be good servant to Him
and pray with loving heart
Allah want his people to love Him
pray with love
don't pray like someone is forcing you to pray!

p/s: lazy me....
i know..aku teruk sungguh pemalas

p/s: they also talk about that missing aeroplane
but..yup it is secret -_______-
they will angry at me..if i tell
(don't angry at me...i don't like)
i just want to say..
don't worry....

p/s: i is so sad
Allah will show it to them
ALLAH just love all of you
this is why He do this thing..

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

back to home

at last i met with that wise old man again...after 5 year
feel sooooo happy..yup stay at their house for 3 days
and they also gather at his house
they that we feel close with them
his advise?

old man : don’t call them as cat, dog,chicken, monkey

me: hehe...i just kidding (in heart: i love all animal they’re my pet...without them, life won’t be beautiful, they’re all my beloved..i’ll die without them hehe kidding again)

old man: if we hurt and feel  angry...don’t show it..don’t shouting...just silent...even how hard it is, just keep it in heart...Allah know your heart.

and all the secret knowledge...that He put in our heart, don’t tell to people. Only if they ask for it, and they’re the right people to know such knowledge. If they didn’t ask, and they’re not the right people,  we should close our mouth.  That isn’t the right time for them...

me: why you using lotus as medicine for cancer?

old man: chinese people eat lotus for health...look at this (he showing me some part of lotus flower)

friend fai: lotus show all the part of human body...each part of it  is a medicine for them

me: why dad, aunt,uncle, grandmother, great grandmother...they look like chinese people...

old man: long time ago....this two Malay people they didn’t have they adopted chinese baby as their child..and as the time passing. this story just missing like that. Tionghoa

me: this is why i like chinese Chinese song ehehe (only me like Chinese
like malay song)

me: it feel like i know you for a very long time

old man: when you come...i know you...but you didn’t recognize all of us...what should i do? (with sad eyes and face) only after 5 year you come to visit us again...

me: how about pyramid...

old man: .........

he keep repeating about America...-____-

me: why you keep repeating that state name?
old man: :......

p/s: this is the only thing i want to share
p/s: that story...have something same with that legend...They’re two brother...the oldest one...he learn the light knowledge..and his little brother learn the dark knowledge. When they return to home and meet

brother: show me..what you learn?

lil brother: this is mine...if one day i can’t control myself, you should help me to return back to my true self... (you have to do this and this)

but, when his little brother change and can’t control, he the oldest brother was so afraid and didn’t help, he travel from that place to far away place. yup until this day...the oldest one run away...if he coming back..he can help his  lil brother to return back to his true self. Cause they’re sibling..

p/s: okey..princess fairytale want to stop...dear oldest brother...your little brother is waiting....
maybe they’re all already die..what leave..only their descendant..ofc light vs dark..
so annoying story hehe ( don’t get angry..i just kidding hahahaha)   
they keep repeating the same thing like their ancestor...(tidak penat ke? )

p/s: Borobodur and the site of Taj Mahal (i mean before the building was build)..both of it also have their bloody incident... (but i feel sleepy to read this kind of story)

p/s: so which way?....choose the easy way...

p/s: i choose to be like oldest brother heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :P opps hehe

bye love
but..can i call you cat...
cause cat is beautiful and cute :P
i love animal ....

can cat be friend with white tiger?

p/s: this is the last thing..i want to share...about this fairytale
so...hiding and be alone like oldest brother :P
let both of us suffer and  at the same time feel happy


Saturday, February 14, 2015

hmmm question

if we don’t know about something
we have to ask...if not, nothing will change
if we just stay at the same place...we can’t get out from there
until your own feet and heart decide to move on
cause God will never change our situation..unless we change it by ourself

doubt and trust...
our mind full of prejudice and skeptical ...and we’ll lost in our own illusion
to know about this mysterious journey of human life...our heart must be full of sincerity...
This world full of wonderful thing...that you may not know it now...

try to understand
why this world...feel like something look like a dead place
you know..if you listen to all of them, might get lost again
cause they don’t want to....
yup..they’re all insane

human is mystery
they are alive but look like dead



p/s: i like to travel alone ^^
i have to have a brave heart have to guide me
step by step


shut up!!!
even i don’t like ghost story..i can walk alone in dark street without asking
“please..accompany me..i’m scare” -____- mom i’m a brave princess
only with you..i’ll acting like cute lil princess

12,1,2,3 am..if i’m late from library..or for something else..i just walk alone to my room.
i already learn to sleep in dark...with a little help from moon light and small light (lamp) .
if you;re 6 sense like’ll know why  i don’t like ghost story la~la~la kidding (perasannya)
idk...what will happen tomorrow

my oldest cousin is here...they coming to our home is about 50 year..another one is about 70 year...i guess,,,,...ok i want to join them cya

p/s: don’t be friend with normal friend..cause they will think i;m crazy..
p/s: yup i’m crazy hehe :P bye2 normal people
p/s: we should be friend with old people...they have a lot of experience

at last

at last i cancel to visit old man

cause my mood is swinging again

maybe for forever..i won't meet that wise old men

p/s: i just not belong in group
p/s: he have a lot of knowledge
even about lotus he can explain
he ask me to stay at his house
they're like my grandad n grandmom
i think their age also near 80...or 70

this is my path
yup...i like to give up on people..easily
but to give up on myself...nope
i love me so much

p/s: they want to bring me visit him tomorrow..or this wednesday
but my mood keep swinging...and ...should i go or no
if..i go tomorrow..i could stay there until wednesday...?????????????? mood say
p/s: don't get involve with people anymore

Every tear, every heartbreak, every day you spent alone, made you who you are right in this very second.
Sometimes I just wanna say 'THIS STATUS IS ABOUT YOU', but then, you probably wouldn't even realize then, would you?

The strongest girl during the day is usually the one who cries herself to sleep.

At this point I don't even care. I'm just going with the flow. Whatever happens, happens

Let every moment be what it's going to be. What's meant to be will come your way, what's not will fade away.


"Jika Allah itu adalah Cahaya,
Maka di letakkan nya kamu di
tempat yang gelap, yakinilah
perbuatan itu terhanyalah di
keranakan ia nya amat
berkeinginan untuk
KEPADA KAMU, maka janganlah
sekali kali kamu mengeluh dan
janganlah kamu gusarkan..
Ingat kata pesanan Nya di
dalam surah Al Hadid, Ayat 3 dan 4.,,

 "Allah tetap saja ADA BESERTA
di mana mana saja kamu berada"...
Moga sejahteralah.. Ikhlas dariku buat mu..


 i don't like dark place

don't make me scare with darkness
just please put away darkness...
please put it somewhere else
somewhere that i couldn;t see it

p/s: this is all mom mistake..cause tonight she make me watch
ghost story .....
p/s: tomorrow..i'll be okay normal day

mom: coward princess!!!!!
me: -_____- i'm cute princess


Friday, February 13, 2015


His Throne had been upon water


p/s: too bad..i'm not in your side
-___- hehe
when it come to your story...
i always feel sleepy

mari kita keluarkan semua rahsia..
yup alone...  (cinta di akhir garisan)

luahan hati aku...
aku hanya perlukan masa
masa untuk aku seorang

apabila ingatan itu datang...

aku benci manusia membantu
lemahkah diriku?

jangan pandang rendah padaku
kelak...kau akan tahu...

Allah...rindunya aku pada sejarah...
bukankah kau akan menceritakan satu persatu
itukan perjanjian kita...

opps tersilap..
bukan perjanjian..tapi permintaan


p/s: so don't let anyone in..only you and me!

peaceful Friday


h.y 80


Erdoğan was brought up to be very brave. He must forget about the presidency though. There is no need for a presidency. The existing system is working fine. He thinks that Islamic Unity will be easier with a presidential system. But that has nothing to do with it. You need education for Islamic Unity. Islamic Unity cannot come about through politics. They tried that in Egypt, and Egypt was ruined. The same in Libya. They tried to implement it in Syria. They will all be ruined. Islamic Unity cannot be achieved through politics. Islamic Unity will come through teaching the truths of the Qur’an and the signs leading to faith, through knowledge and purity. Erdoğan thought, in a well-intentioned way, that he could succeed in this through politics, but all Islamic countries have collapsed. 

Bediuzzaman also says it cannot come about through politics. Erdoğan has genuinely suffered very much to date. He thought that Islamic Unity could be established, but it cannot. Not like this. There can be no Islamic unity while Darwinism and materialism are taught all over the place and in Turkey. There has to be an end to the teaching of Darwinism and materialism first. This situation is displeasing to God. What do you say in the national curriculum? ‘There is no God.’ ‘God did not create you, you were created by chance,’ you say. ‘The Prophet did not speak the truth, no prophet spoke the truth,’ you say. That is displeasing to God. This is a terrible thing to say, and will attract the wrath of God. And you are teaching this by the hand of the state, through the Ministry of Education. Darwinism is in all classes, in geography, history, philosophy and all of them, my brother. It is taught comprehensively in biology. In biology classes they say, ‘You came into being by chance, out of muddy water.’ 

Darwinist and materialist education defies God, may He forbid. It must absolutely be stopped. Turkey has reached where it is today through Darwinist and materialist education. Thanks be to God, He has not destroyed Turkey. We have reached the present day without it being destroyed. What does Darwinist, materialist education mean? May He forbid, it means, ‘There is no God. The prophets did not speak the truth.’ It means telling people, ‘your ancestor was a worm.’ Almighty God could have destroyed the world because of those words. But Almighty God is patient, not like us. God spared the world because of the Mahdi. God will not let these words be spoken of Him. God could have destroyed and ruined the world because of those words. He could have made people beg for mercy. God will not allow that to be said of Him. But God is patient. 

Excerpt from Mr. Adnan Oktar's Live Conversation on A9TV dated dated January 28-31th, 2015